What Five Years of Listening to Families Taught Me About School Success
And Why This Year Can Be Different
The school bags are packed. The uniform is pressed. And somewhere in your chest, there’s that familiar knot—hope mixed with worry.
Will this be the year it finally clicks? Will the homework battles ease? Will the morning chaos become manageable? Will the teacher feedback be different this time?
Here’s the thing. Over the past five years, I’ve been quietly analysing patterns from my practice. Not just individual cases, but the bigger picture of what actually predicts school success and struggle for children with ADHD. The findings surprised me. And I think they’ll help you.
What 5,807 Conversations Actually Revealed
We analysed 1,509 first assessments, 2,702 parent follow-up consultations, and 1,596 teacher observation forms. That’s nearly six thousand data points from real South African families navigating ADHD.
Parents don’t come to me because their child is ‘a bit distracted.’ They come because life doesn’t run. Routines don’t launch. Homework doesn’t finish. Writing doesn’t show what the child actually knows. And the school feedback feels relentless.
When I looked at the numbers, clear patterns emerged—patterns that explain why certain strategies work and others don’t. And why some children thrive while others struggle despite everyone’s best efforts.
The Four Battlegrounds Teachers Report
Notice what’s missing from this list? ‘Not caring’ isn’t on it. ‘Laziness’ isn’t on it. The problem isn’t motivation. It’s execution.
What’s Really Happening at Home
The parent follow-up data told an equally important story. These challenges persist even after diagnosis and treatment begins:
57% report ongoing sleep difficulties. Sleep isn’t a ‘lifestyle extra’—it’s an upstream driver of everything else. A tired ADHD brain is a brain that cannot regulate, focus, or cope.
48% need constant supervision for organisational tasks. Your child isn’t being deliberately helpless. Remember the 30% rule: a ten-year-old with ADHD often has the executive function of a typical seven-year-old. Expect seven-year-old behaviour, and suddenly everything makes more sense.
34% have problematic morning routines. If mornings in your house feel like a daily emergency, you’re not alone—and it’s not because you’re failing as a parent.
67% of children with ADHD have a family member with the condition. If you recognise yourself in your child’s struggles, you’re not imagining it. And it means you can understand what they’re going through in a way others can’t.
What Medication Can (and Can’t) Do
The teacher data revealed something crucial. When we compared classroom behaviour on versus off medication, we saw dramatic improvements in following directions, staying on task, and completing work.
But here’s what didn’t change much: reading ability, maths skills, and—importantly—written expression.
Think of medication as glasses for the brain. Glasses don’t cure poor vision—they help your child see clearly. Medication helps your child’s brain work the way it wants to work. But if your child has been wearing ‘foggy glasses’ for years, there may be gaps in foundational skills that need direct teaching.
This explains why some parents feel disappointed despite good medication response. If academic struggles persist, it’s not proof the medication isn’t working—it’s proof that medication alone isn’t enough.
What This Means for Your Year Ahead
Based on five years of data, here’s what actually predicts school success:
Five Things That Actually Work
Systems, Not Motivation
Your child doesn’t need another lecture about trying harder. They need routines, visual schedules, and external structures that compensate for the brain’s internal organisation challenges. Structure is love, not punishment.
Output Support, Not Just Attention Support
If writing is a bottleneck, address it directly. Consider typing, speech-to-text, reduced copying, or scaffolded paragraph frames. Help your child show what they know.
Sleep as a Non-Negotiable
Protect bedtime like your child’s school success depends on it—because it does. A well-rested brain can compensate for much. An exhausted one cannot.
Homework Timing That Matches Biology
If medication wears off before homework time, you’re fighting biology. Discuss coverage timing with your prescriber. A small afternoon booster might transform your evenings.
Teacher Partnership Built on Specifics
Go beyond ‘please help my child.’ Share exactly what works at home, and ask for specific feedback about what’s working in class. Connection before correction—it works with teachers too.
Quick Win Tonight
Set a consistent bedtime for the school week
Work backwards from wake-up time. Your child needs 9–11 hours depending on age. Write it down. Stick to it.
⏱ 15 minutesPrepare the morning the night before
Uniform out, bag packed, shoes by the door. Remove every decision that doesn’t need to happen at 6am. Your future self will thank you.
⏱ 10 minutesHave one honest conversation
Ask your child: ‘What’s the hardest part of school for you?’ Listen without fixing. Their answer will tell you where to focus your energy.
⏱ 5 minutes✨ Remember This
Your child’s brain isn’t broken—it’s wired differently. The struggles you see aren’t character flaws or parenting failures. They’re the predictable result of a brain that processes the world in its own way.
Understanding this changes everything. When you stop fighting against your child’s neurology and start working with it, transformation becomes possible.
You’re not failing. You’re learning. And so is your child.
Ready to Understand Your Child’s Unique Brain Better?
Dr Flett offers compassionate ADHD assessments and support at The Assessment Centre.
8 Village Road, Kloof, Durban
031 1000 474
Zoom consultations available for families across South Africa